Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Sarah's facts

Loren found this blog, and we have been laughing so hard at some of these "little known facts" about Sara Palin. (these pictures are from that blog also)

Here are some of my favorites from the site:

In 2003, the US considered deploying Sarah Palin to Iraq as a 1-woman commando squad, but wanted to make it a fair fight.

As head of Alaska’s Nat’l Guard, Sarah Palin taught troops in a training exercise to scare a grenade into not exploding.

The diamonds in Sarah Palin’s earrings were crushed with her very hands.

Sarah Palin’s use of the word “Haberdashery” will bring it back in style.

Sarah Palin wants to be President but is too kind to cut in front of John McCain, so now we get her for 16 yrs!

Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

Sarah Palin wants you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!

Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin bout.

When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad.

Jesus has a bracelet that says, “WWSPD?”

Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!

In the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful.

Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout.

N. Alaska is sunny half the year and dark half the year because Sarah Palin needed the reading light, then wanted a nap.

Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.

When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

Sarah Palin plays Whack-a-Mole with her forehead, and always gets a perfect score.

Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.

Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone.

Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

Sarah Palin could not find a good man, so her husband was constructed from the DNA of Washington, Lee, and Genghis Khan.

Sarah Palin is on loan from the Justice League.

Sarah Palin would have just had an Eagle drop the Ring into Mount Doom.

Iran’s nuclear program is a response to Sarah Palin.

Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.

Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.

Three of Sarah Palin’s five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.

Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

Without her glasses, looking deep into Sarah Palin’s eyes will blind you with the beauty of the tundra sun.

Sarah Palin’s brain is three times the size of Joe Biden’s. It’s science.

Too funny, huh?

We just finished listening to her speech, and man, I LIKE HER! I'm totally impressed. And look how cool she looks in this picture. I wanna stand next to a plane with some snow boots and a big coat and look as cool as she does.

Oh wait! Here I am!

Awesome example of extraction, I know.

Yep. It is.


RedefinedPossibilities said...

Heard her also tonight. She scored.

Lois Michael said...

I am with you! I received a great email about her yesterday. I will have to send it to you. Love the new specs on the kids too, very cute kiddos!

adrienne said...

She is AWESOME!!! She's my new super hero.

Beckaroo said...

Thanks for the laugh!!!
Some of those sound more like truth than a joke. ;)

Mitchellaus Copernicus said...

I'm pretty sure Sarah Palin is Chuck Norris' kid sister, lost at birth.